Miss this

God it's been so long since I've been on here....and god was I freaking annoying ....

I miss my friend...this is all

kicw...

1 picture and a shattered heart...

How can one guy thousands of miles away break your heart in less than 1 second? With less than 1 word…Without even knowing it….A picture is worth a thousand words, and the one picture that I saw holds true to that statement…

You think you’re over someone, but you’re not…and over time your heart breaks, and now I think mine’s shattered…into pieces….and it hurts…worse than I thought it would….

Silly Poem:
Thousand miles away
I think about you everyday
What you’ve done now
You didn’t know how…
Is break my heart,
Though we’re miles apart…
With a picture so small
I’ll have to build up my wall…
To keep my feelings inside
I can’t run, so I’ll hide,
From the ever increasing pain
‘Cause my hearts been slain….

Blissful nothingness..

So a few minutes ago I was in total bliss...I got a message on my myspace from a guy I like and hadn't seen in a while. We caught up yesterday at After Prom!! (Which by the was was amazing!!) Then I was watching Everwood and it was one of those great scenes. Ephram realizing that piano is in fact his thing, and he plays with this goofy grin on his face and it's fantastical!!!

I was so happy, floating again......

Then I went to this guys profile and saw all the comments he had, especially from this one girl, who wrote to him alot. I went to her profile and read his comments to her and they seemed like they had something...And of course, that shut me down. I try to be confident, and say, "I have as much a chance with him as she does," but it's like I'm saying it to deaf ears. My own deaf ears. Cause no matter how hard I try I can't convince myself of it....
That really sucks...cause it's so ironic that the one thing I can't find, is the one thing that guys find most attractive in girls....confidence....

URGH!! You know, for my first blog in a while, this one sucks!!

Silly Poem:

Blissful nothingness is all I can say
To describe how I feel today
The bliss that I once had
Has just made me mad
More at me
Than the girl I see.
Trying to convince myself of a chance
Yet talking to deaf ears never to have romance.
Cause my confidence was shot
By a girl who's nothing but hot.
The one with the beautiful hair
With looks, so she doesn't have to care
How he feels about her
Now my bliss is a blur!!

A Surprise or A Wait

So they say, "All things come to those who wait." Isn't it also true that something happens when you least expect it?!?!

So I've been waiting for an important email, that is suppose to help me make a decision, but the person who is suppose to send it to me, hardly ever returns emails.... And when he does, it's always unexpected....... So now I have the Wait and the Surprise to deal with.... but I don't see a surprise here.....what do I do...?

Wait for him to send me the email....or go ahead and make a decision that could affect him in a negative way....? Confuzzled!!! And if I make the decision and it does affect him in a negative way....is it my fault....or is he to blame? And is not expecting anything, also not having faith that it will come, even though you're going off past experiences?

I think that All things do come to those who wait, and sometimes they happen unexpectedly, but I'm sure that if you tell someone that it's important that they get back to a.s.a.p............they should get back to you a.s.a.p............

Silly Poem:
Unexpectedly getting something,
May just be a good thing,
But prolonging the undexpected,
Is another thing digested....
And who's to say who get's the blame,
When in the end one's put to shame.....

Advice...

So what happens when someone comes to you for advice and you’re the only one that they trust to help them. But you yourself can’t do anything because you don’t know what to do or say. Or sometimes you’re dealing with the same thing and don’t have any answers…..

So boy likes girl….(isn’t that how all stories start?)
They date…..girl breaks up with boy……boy gets hurt……boy gets over it and moves on….5 years later, girl wants boy back……girl asks a mutual friend what to do….mutual friend is like….WHAT?!?!?!?!

What do you do when you don’t know what to say…..? When you think you know, but are too scared to tell, or you don’t think you’re right….?

I think that advice is a circle. Continuous and never ending, from one person to another to another and so on. But sometimes you have “concave” circles and there’s the spot where someone doesn’t know what to say (Like now…) and that slows down the advice…….


Silly Poem:
Advice, a circle never ending
From one person to another, always pending.
Seeking what to say,
Yet never understanding the play.
Trying to keep the circle round,
But there's always the spot, where advice can never be found

Terrible Thrid day of MAY!!!!

So today is officially the most crappy day, that I've had in a loooooooooooooooooooooong loooooooooooooooooooooooongggggggg time!!!

So, if today is your B-day.........soz, but this a very crappy day for me!!!

Why?

Well.....

1. Had a fight with my mom in the Morning......
2. Messed flavored water on my Math (FLAVORED FRICKIN WATER!!!)
3. Twisted my ankle in Chemistry!!!! URGH!! It still hurts!!!!
4. Got a toothache!!! / Have a toothache!!!!
5. Had a kinda crappy rehearsal because we were kinda messed up!!!
6. Had a fight with my mom!!!
7. Found out my CPR class was 3 hours!!! 3!!! (Ironic that it was 3 hours and 3rd of MAY!!)
8. Got no studying done, so I'll have to do some now, plus take a shower!!!
9. Something sucky that I predicted would come true, came true!!! URGH!!!

So I can saftley say that today was a shitty 3rd day of MAY!!!!

Silly Poem:
The Third of May
What a shitty Day
Although one might say....
"But, it's my Birthday....."
I'd say "That's Absurd,
Because this was a trashy THIRD!!"

Perfect Angel

So you know how parents say that they never favor their children?!?!?! Well that's crap!! Well....at least for me....most of the time!! Especially today....

My sister was saying all this crap about me and my mom was in the other room and she was totally immune to what my sister was saying, becuase my sister is the perfect angel....she doesn't do anything wrong!! She doesn't cuss....she doesn't fight...she's perfect....grrrr........WHATEVER!! I wish that they could see her the way I do....not a perfect angel...a perfect demon!!!

Ashley Simpson, has this song "Shadow" and it's about growing up in her sister's shadow....well I need to rewrite those words so it fits me, becuase I'm the eldest one..... so it wouldn't make alot of sense....It'd probably go something like : "I was 3 years old, when my parents went away, I was stuck inside a broken life, and totally pushed away, she was beautiful, she was all they'd wished for, and my escape was falling out and slaming down a wall...." Yeah, that's pretty much how I'd start it, lame, but it works!!!

So for all you people whos parents totally favor their siblings, this one goes out to you:

Silly Poem:
Perfect Angel she may seem,
But underneath, she doesn't beam.
She may look perfect,
But I'm so over it,
Yet, you're too blind to see...
That a perfect angel, she could never be....